Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
