Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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