My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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