I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
