Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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