I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
