he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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