dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
