I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
