Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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