Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
