"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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