you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
