She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
