singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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