I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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