I'm jealous of your bromance
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
