So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
