I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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