What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
