Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
