i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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