I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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