Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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