It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
