The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
