talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
