Swine flu. Run for my life!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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