i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
