iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
