I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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