hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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