3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
