hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize