Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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