she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
