you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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