how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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