what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
