Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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