i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Randomize
