i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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