does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
