I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize