I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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