lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
barbara walters just said penis...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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