just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
