Quick, to the slutcave!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
