Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
