Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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