I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
