It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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