How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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