you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
