he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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