bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
