i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
